would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
