I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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