she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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