everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
