Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
