It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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