I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
