Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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