if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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