If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
