I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love you.
Bad choice
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
