Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
