Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
