He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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