She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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