we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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