using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
