Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
is that a dick in a sweater?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize