remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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