Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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