I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
