i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
