remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize