i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
