Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just puked most of my soul out..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize