we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
