Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
bring money and cleavage
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
