i think my mom watched the whole time
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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