would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
