Your face is a jimmy john
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
