Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
