Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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