Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
