It's Friday. Sex?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
