im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
