Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
