I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
