For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
