ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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