Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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