i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
