in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
