Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
