these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize