Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
