then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
