You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
