i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry my hands just texted you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
