Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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