seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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