u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I bet he comes in French.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
