I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
smell my finger.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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