dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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