White coat. Heels.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
