I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
