This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
