I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
