Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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