you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
